#but srs marvel really got me frustrated with this

[2dlovley]

Things marvel got wrong 1 : Jotunns lets get one thing clear not all jotunns are blue skinned and ice gaints ,and have red eyes?? thanks allot marvel. jotunns are more like humanoid, with a few exceptions (fenrir, hel, jormungandr etc.), and they could and may be looking like your day to day humans. they could be scrawny and tall, animalistic or have a thousand heads (tyr's grandmama) Jotunns are known to be like a some sort of choas of nature, they could not fit into a little box to be described as just as ''gaints'' since the name ''gaints'' was just translated from the name ''jotunn''/''jotnar'' so yeah, thank you for reading my pep talk since marvel depictions of norse mythology is making me bananas

[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on TRH Book 1, Chapter 13 (One Last Yeehaw)

• It's the chapter everyone's been waiting for! We're pregnant, we get to tell our spouses, we get to tell our friends, we get to tell the courtly ladies, Olivia wears leather, our MCs get to buy a crib for an poppy seed-sized something in their womb that doesn't even know what hands and legs are yet (forget cribs), and the best news of all...WE ARE FINALLLY LEAVING TEXAS!!!!

• If you don't want to see this post on your dash, these are the tags to block: #trh quick thoughts, #trh qts, #trh qt reblogs and #long post.

• Screenshots:

Hana: The Universal Studios 77 YouTube channel

Drake: @thefirstcourtesan and the HIMEME YouTube channel

Maxwell: @itsbrindleybinch

Title: Spreading the Word

Alternative Title: It's a Child, Not the Gospel 🤦🏽‍♀

• Before I start talking about the chapter...storytime!

• Sooo...my first pregnancy was a couple of years ago. And I like telling the story of how I broke it to my husband coz it is pretty damn funny. We'd been trying for two years, and had a couple of times when our tests would be met with a disappointing negative. So by the time I did get pregnant, the hubby was a little wary of hoping too soon.

• I had an inkling just before my periods were expected to arrive, because I found myself flopping down on the bed immediately after work, without even making dinner. No morning sickness, no giddiness initially, just constantly feeling so tired. Anyway, hubby insisted I wait a couple days more before a test because he was too afraid of getting his hopes up, and I agreed.

• I took my test around 4 or 5 that morning? And had to wait a couple minutes for the lines...and THERE WERE TWO. Do you really think I could keep such news to myself for more than ten seconds?? (even that was too much). Of course I was going to shake poor hubby awake and show him the test.

• It took five vigorous shakes to wake the poor guy up, and as soon as he was somewhat awake I shoved the test in his face (I was excited ok! 🙈) forgetting that without his glasses he couldn't see shit (very high power). "I can't see anything," he said sleepily, so I gave him his glasses. Ensuing conversation went as follows.

H: There are two lines.

Me: Yeah...sooooo...? 😀😀

H (sudden realization what two lines are supposed to mean): OMG there are two lines??? *sleepy smile*

Me: YES. I'M PREGNANT.

H (weakly): Yayyyy. (pause)...can I go back to sleep now?

Me: But what will I do???

H: You also sleep.

Me (running on sheer adrenaline now) : I CAN'T SLEEP I JUST FOUND OUT I'M PREGNANT.

H: Oooookay. (is too sleepy at this point to process anything).

Me: (excitedly hops over to Google at 5.20 in the morning and types out "I'm 4 weeks pregnant now what")

LMAO. That first pregnancy was quite something.

• The chapter begins with the MC sending her spouse a text. Depending on whether you mentioned a surprise, mentioned that you need to have a talk or texted emojis instead, the LI will react accordingly.

• With the surprise option, the LI flirts with her. With "we need to talk", they appear tense and believe she's angry with them. The emoji option is the funniest, coz the MC sends a string of emojis with the last one being this: 🍞, and the LIs are confused and referencing the bread (I've seen only two routes of this one - Liam talks about the Cordonian Baker's Festival which will only happen after a couple months, and Hana speaks about a bread course). The MC is puzzled at first, then gets to choose how to tell her spouse the news.

• AAAAAND NOW THEY KNOW.

Liam: Ecstatic and excited at the thought of holding his own child in his arms. Immediately after, he worries over the preparations they will need to make, the childproofing of the throne room and the things they will need to get ready, and it is the MC who calms him down.

I personally love that the narrative makes a mention of Liam "recentering himself" here, because it does show me that this is a rare display of raw emotion, of Liam letting go of his control, and you get a glimpse of what calming down for him looks like. Wish it hasn't taken four books to actually muster up the effort to write that.

Hana: One of the sweetest reactions ever - "We're going to be moms?" and a hearty squeal after that. She then becomes emotional and teary, cries with joy. There's some gentle teasing of each other where they call each other "cute", and then Hana tells her she's so glad she gets to share both this moment and this entire journey of pregnancy with the MC.

Hana doesn't show many signs of her intensive planning in this particular scene, because this - again - calls for raw emotion where the LI basically forgets their "normal" and truly savours that moment, but we do see signs of the same type of planning in other scenes.

Maxwell: WHOOPS with joy and excitement as soon as he realizes. Wants to scream out the news on a mountaintop. He promises the MC that their family will be the most awesome, most fun one that the kingdom has ever seen.

I love how Maxwell's overall vibe in this chapter seems to reflect his family situation - he definitely wants to be the exact opposite to his own child what his father has been to him. It's a pity they don't explore that enough.

Drake: Wild with joy, can't stop grinning. But also worried about whether he is being careless with the MC and is overly concerned for her. Calls her not just by her surname but also her first name. I wonder if that should be added to my Book 1 tallies 😂

• That TRR lullaby music is going to be played so much after this that we'll eventually get sick of it. I know it. I know it already.

• The LIs also get to check in with the MC about how she's feeling, and you as the reader get to decide how she is feeling at the moment (ecstatic, nervous, scared?). We also get the option to decide when to break the news to our friends (at the reception itself, or the next morning at breakfast). I think enough of us had an axe to grind with Savannah and Bertrand for the stunt they pulled (with our help) last book, that most people slammed that "reception" button like their lives depended on it.

• The LIs also act in different ways before their friends find out about the pregnancy:

Liam and Hana both dote on the MC, and Hana specifically keeps the MC's dietary restrictions in mind (gets sparkling water/orange juice in place of champagne/mimosas, asks about caffeine content/salmon during breakfast - this varies depending on when you make the announcement). With Drake, the group figures out that he has something on his mind because he's grinning nonstop, and Maxwell tries really really hard to hint at the MC's pregnancy by using phrases like 'bun in the oven' and 'expecting', and gives up in frustration when no one catches on.

• There are three ways you can tell the news to the group - if you're at the reception, you can leave them to guess, get the LI to announce via loudspeaker or scream it out. If you're at home, the same three options except the second one is simply the LI delivering the news in a more low-key manner.

•

YOU'RE SUCH DORKS ISTG.

• Bertrand is happy for us but Savannah is surprisingly (to my great joy) nowhere to be found.

• CELEBRATORY DIAMOND SCENE. For 30 diamonds, which is usually reserved either for finales or turning-point diamond scenes. Again, these scenes deal with the newness of it all, the jubilation, the end of a (not very long, actually) wait, and the LIs get to talk about family.

•

The sex part is 🔥 🔥 🔥 as usual, but the parts that really justify the 30 diamonds we're spending come before and after that. Each LI, as I've mentioned before, responds differently, but the thread that connects them all is the awe and wonder at this new life, and their plans and worries for the future (Good. You all should be worried if Olivia's diamond scene is anything to go by).

- Liam: In the pre-sex portion, the focus is on celebrating this moment they have alone - as parents - together, because once this news is brought out to the world, both they and their child will be thrown into the spotlight. I have spoken in this essay about the kind of upbringing royal children tend to have and the lessons they unknowingly learn in that environment. Liam has gone through this, he is aware his child will go through it too, but he wants the child to have as normal a life as he as a father can provide. This is clear in the last portion of the scene, where he touches the MC's stomach, marvels at the life they both created and - as per the MC's choice - communicates with said child. My favourite option of course is the lullaby, because it's one that Eleanor used to sing to him - and it is interesting how a lot of Liam's memories of an actual parent, doing actual parent-things, is of his mother.

- Hana: In the pre-sex portion, she speaks about how nervous they've both been over whether this pregnancy would happen and the pressure from the court, and how excited she is that that moment is finally here. When the MC asks her if she is nervous or scared, Hana tells her that even though everything that has led up to this (leaving her parents, having a new life in Cordonia) has been unknown and scary, knowing that they will finally have their own family outweighs "all the worries in the world". In the last portion of the scene, they flirt playfully, leading Hana at some point to wonder about whether they should set ground rules if the child is going to be such a charmer. She's already got a whole range of things prepared - from a pregnancy kit to snacks and drinks appropriate for the MC's condition - but the MC encourages her to relax and not worry too much. You can tell that Hana is already in the zone of wanting to be a better parent for her child than her own.

- Maxwell: I find the Maxwell version of this scene really interesting this time, because it deals with both his struggle to change for his child, and his struggle to NOT be the kind of father Bartie Sr was (finally they address this!). The first part of the scene involves Maxwell being his usual excitable self, wanting to scream the news from the rooftops then realising that it might be too risky for his wife. He speaks of wanting to "rewire" himself into "Good Dad mode". The last portion is especially poignant, because he speaks both of what a life without the MC would have been life (an enjoyable Beaumont Bash, but one where he is forever searching for someone, and feeling constantly lonely, like something is missing in his life), and he also promises his wife that he will be the kind of father who will learn and grow from his mistakes, and who will be there whenever his children need him most, not just drop by on the day of their child's wedding.

- Drake: Drake also falls back into old-habit before getting into father-mode - he mentions celebrating with drinks before realizing the MC cannot have them. The MC gets to choose either a non alcoholic beverage or a massage, and as far as I have seen the massage comes with yet another family story about his father massaging a particular spot in his mother's shoulder that would easily tense up. It astounds me how much effort the writers make into making Drake's scenes and exchanges so much more personal than the others. Like the others have their moments in this scene too - but in their cases such moments are the exception, not the norm. In Drake's it's always the norm.

In the aftermath of the scene, the couple get to discuss how they will bring up their child, even though that child will be heir to Cordonia's throne, and get to choose if they want to bring that child up with a sense of normality, or to appreciate the benefits they get from the royal life. In the end, all Drake wants this child to know at the moment is how much their parents love them.

• We now have brunch, hosted by the newlyweds. If we have not yet announced our pregnancy, Bertrand will simply announce us the way a herald would at a royal event before Savannah teases him for doing so, and if we have, he mentions that we are "celebrating the happy news with them once more". Bertrand speaks of being overly formal when he's very happy, and is even happier to mention the word "wife". That'll last.

• Leona gives Bertrand a cup of bourbon as a reward for the way he stood up to Chuck, claiming that she thought of him as a "pretty boy" who knew nothing, but was impressed by his behaviour on the wedding day. At this point I can only roll my eyes and finally celebrate when Auntie Bitch disappears. We've wasted way too much time than necessary on Drake's shitty family.

• If you haven't announced the news, you announce it after this scene. There are a few slight changes, esp the drinks mentioned in certain cases because the brunch is a more relaxed atmosphere than the reception so the food and drink items mentioned are pretty low-key. But everything else is pretty much as is.

• Bertrand and Savannah have a honeymoon to plan, which means we will finally get a break from them too, and Bianca asks us what we're planning in order to celebrate the news. Maxwell suggests getting a gift for the new arrival (9 months before arriving), and Savannah suggests they go to the general store and get something from there. The MC is nervous, because she wasn't exactly planning to meet Cassidy West again. Thankfully, he isn't at the store, so she's pretty safe 😂

•

All the LIs have items they will check out with their friends/wives, but the scene varies related to who the MC married. Minimally in most cases, quite a bit in just one. As usual.

Maxwell shows us baby socks, and realizes that this child is a "miniature human" who will have small-sized everything. Virtually nothing changes in this scene except for Maxwell calling the child "our baby" instead of "yours" in his own playthrough. Everything else is disappointingly identical.

Hana shows us a toy tea set (it's still early days but Hana tells the MC it will be fun to practice and to think of the treats the child can eat from that). If you are married to her, she gets a single line referencing the childhood scene where she waited in vain for her mother at her own tea party.

Liam's scene is the one wit the diamond option - as the King of Cordonia whose entire country's future rides on this child, he is the one who gets to show the MC (+ LI in their respective playthroughs) the crib. There are two variations in this scene - the ones where Liam speaks about "our heir". Other than that, very little difference (though he does mention Constantine in one line later, so I guess that's a plus).

Drake shows the MC a wooden rocking horse. In his friend playthrough, he speaks of the gift as something the child can have to remember "ol' Uncle Drake" by. But if you're married to him, there is a whole set of dialogues where Drake talks of riding horses being part of the Walker DNA, and there is a reference to the secret wedding (riding off into the sunset), and there is interactive banter between the MC and Drake that you don't see much of in the other playthroughs. I wish I could say I'm surprised.

• I mean...seriously??? Maxwell gets NO OTHER VARIATIONS??? Hana's mention of her mother never coming to her tea parties isn't even followed up by a line expressing comfort from the MC????

• Just as we got there options for our nursery decor, we also get three options for the crib (classic, royal, forest fairytale). The royal option is lavish, all gold and cream, and the fairytale option is whimsical, wood finish and the same patterns of forest animals and flowers and leaves as the walls. The classic option is, like its corresponding decor, "very neutral. very baby".

• We exit the shop as quickly as we can either because Maxwell broke a trampoline (in the Liam, Hana and Drake playthroughs), or Hana dropped some teacups (in Maxwell's playthrough).

• Once we're done shopping, we get a call from Olivia, who is at our estate in Valtoria, asking us for the most precious thing in our room. But before she can ask, we tell her we're either furniture shopping or pregnant. The option the writers want us to be choosing is "pregnant", because there's a scene where Olivia secretly happy-cries for us when she learns the news. We can agree to loan her either some fancy shoes, our engagement ring (in the Maxwell playthrough, apparently, there is a reference to the twig ring he made back at the beginning of Book 3) or the Cordonian Royal Sceptre. She isn't sure if she'll come back alive, so she thanks us in case she doesn't.

• The ensuing Olivia diamond scene comes with a chance to figure out what Olivia is upto, an advantage over Auvernal, and a tiny hint at a Nevrakis name for TRM.

• I must say, the writers never cease to go all out for Olivia. Even over the female LI that should have been treated like a co-protagonist. And it's tiring because yet again I'll have to see half the fandom drag Hana just so they can drool over the white girl (in fact I already have).

• Olivia's sprite on the left side of the screen...is going to take some getting used to. It's disorienting. But it's fine after a second one!

• Anyway. She is now at a casino in Monte Carlo, meeting up with Bradshaw and Isabella. She's clearly in super-spy mode, since she refers to the King and Queen of Auvernal as targets rather than their names or titles. She has a better edge over the two if she is honest about her intentions and doesn't pretend she just bumped into them.

• Bradshaw speaks about King Liam sending his 'attack dog' to them and 'not doing his own dirty work' which is hilarious considering this man is from a militaristic society yet doesn't even know the C of combat training and has never done anything besides strategizing.

• Isabella always delivers her stinky, unwarrented opinion as if it holds any weight or has any relevance. In Olivia's case, she mentions Anton's marriage contract with Olivia and wonders aloud how the Queen/Duchess still trusts her enough to allow Olivia in her inner circle after that. All three options to push back at Izzy are 🔥 but my favourite one is "you look like you know all about poor judgement" (which is true, look at who she married).

• Olivia then gambles with Bradfraud and Stinkybella, with whatever the MC chose to give her as stakes. The best option is to simply call Bardfraud on his bluff, because he folds easily. Depending on whether Olivia wins or loses the game, he either asks the guards to place the item in the penthouse, or to get more funds from there. Olivia takes note.

• She then has to make sure she nicks the key to the penthouse from Stinkybella, either by acting tipsy or by coming closer to her for an "awkward hug". Both do the job.

• She learns the following from the penthouse:

- Bradfraud and Stinkybella stay in separate rooms, which means things "aren't as rosy" between them.

- She finds a letter of rejection, doubtless from another royal couple, and this is an indication that they aren't as popular as they pretend to be.

- She finds a map of a land she doesn't recognize (is it Monterisso? Olivia would recognize a map of her own country...and neighboring countries...but who am I fooling it's not like team TRH concerns themselves with such ridiculous things as logic!), which has troop formations on it. They're planning something called Operation Swan. I've heard of "Black Swans" and "Swanning About" used as military terms, but there's not a lot I understand from this. Perhaps this leans more towards a "black swan" idea - where they will launch a surprise attack with a nation they are allying with? IDK.

- Basically, we have enough leverage to win against these two, thanks to Olivia's work.

• In any case, someone comes to the room, and Olivia is on the verge of getting caught. So she'll need to scale her way down.

• This shows us if you have Olivia pray to her ancestors for wings:

(Theodosia is clearly the Renaissance Nevrakis)

• If you don't choose to scale down, Olivia will land on the pool instead, but even then she makes it out okay. She decides to keep an eye out because Bradfraud and Stinkybella could pose as a problem for Liam and the MC.

• Olivia is operating on her own, as far as she has told Bradfraud, but the possibility that Liam is aware of what she is upto still exists. And the MC has no clue even if she is Liam's wife because:

a. The writers are too lazy to code this for Liam, and

b. It's not like the MC puts any effort into finding things out anyway

• We're now leaving the Walker Ranch, a couple hours later, and saying our goodbyes to Drake's mother and aunt. I heave a sigh of relief at the fact that there's no additional "memories" from Bianca become this family has gobbled up enough of our attention. Seems like their horrible attitude was really about the money they didn't get after all (it's a fair gripe to have, but doesn't exactly warrant the attitude they've been throwing around).

• Leona still acts like she did us a huge fucking favour hosting us, even though she was an awful host and seriously deserves to lose her ranch. Bianca tries to be civil but no apologies from her for allowing her son in law to be treated like crap until his wedding day. Seems like all Walkers have a habit of expecting civility from others while giving none.

• Bianca asks us to keep in touch and I'm pretty sure a huge chunk of the fandom said "no way in Yeehaw Hell".

• Liam continues to be mysterious with regards to what Olivia is up to, and Esther - who I HC'd as inquisitive - seems not to care enough to ask more.

• The LI tells us, as we leave, that Kiara, Penelope and Madeleine will be traveling in the jet with us, and it's up to us to decide how we break the news to them. If you own corgis, that features as an option. Two of the options (writing on a cake and announcement by corgi) come with a simple "Coming Soon...The Royal Heir", but the charade one is my favourite 🤭

• Penelope is that particular Drake/Walker Ranch stan who loved the time we spent at the ranch and Kiara is the rest of the fandom, who would much rather be in Cordonia than cooling her heels in Texas.

•

AAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.

The MC then tries another charade, one that resembles cradling a baby in her arms, which Kiara takes to mean "American football" (thank God they don't force Cordonians to call it "soccer" anymore), Madeleine takes to mean "a common pirate jig" and Penelope somehow gets the guess right (though Kiara is the one who straight-out says it).

• The ladies are ecstatic, and congratulate us. Penelope calls for drinks, but Kiara has the common sense to add that the drinks should be alcohol-free. Madeleine informs us of the events lined up for us, including the Apple Ball which will doubtless be the ball we will be attending in the finale.

•

There's a small private moment where the LIs dote over the MC more than necessary, wanting to pamper her and keep her in comfort. The MC calms them down, convinces them that they have a very good support system/are a great team together who can achieve anything.

• Mara still finds out about the pregnancy via Maxwell scouring the online shops for corgi-themed onesies even when he is the father. Which makes sense. It's still Good Dad Mode 😁

• In the tiny space of time it took between Madeleine finding out we were pregnant and us talking to people, she managed to schedule a conference for the same day! At least let us confirm the pregnancy with our docs???

• Plus, announcing this early, even if you're not royalty, is pretty risky. You're mostly advised to not disclose it too soon because the first trimester can be a little risky. And there are also cases where your first ultrasound turns out to not be that happy moment where you see that yolk sac and hear its heartbeat, or an ectopic pregnancy 😔. I recall reading about it on pregnancy forums before my first ultrasound (and stressing, but I had to be prepared) and not being satisfied until I confirmed it for myself.

• The writers and the readers know she'll be pregnant because that is what the story is, but perhaps if the team hadn't wasted so much time on the Walker Ranch, they'd at least not have to hurry like this.

• Actually...no. "Hurrying" would be the wrong word. Because they're going to stretch the press conference itself to like two chapters, it seems like. Basically they will spend time on everything that isn't important to the story as long as it's important to their pet character.

• The summary of Chapter 15 (CHAPTER FUCKING FIFTEEN. We're stuck at the beginning of all this even by CHAPTER FIFTEEN) speaks of the press conference heating up, so I'm having an inkling that there will be some pretty heavy stuff being asked in between? Maybe with regards to alliances, or a new scandal, or something else. But it's not going to be easy at all, that much is pretty clear. It's going to be frustrating and there's going to be stuff that will anger the LIs I think. I could be wrong, though.

• Overall this chapter does better in terms of variations even though they still do beef up Drake quite a bit over the others. But at least Liam, Hana and Maxwell get the rare opportunity to briefly address the mistakes (too small a word for what they've done) their parents have made. It's still not enough though. Esp considering the last 9 chapters have seen such an overall of Walker history and Drake's memories and the others have barely a handful of chapters to catch up.

• Sometimes I wonder if Olivia's independent investigation is also fueled by her desire to be so different from her parents and aunt as to wipe out the memory of their betrayal through her deeds. I do wonder if she will burn herself out completely in the process. She is made of sterner stuff than that, I know, but the determination she was showing in this scene and in the last few chapters was on another level.

• I wonder if we will get intel on Monterisso as well (I don't fully trust Amalas yet), or whether the narrative plans to establish this country as the underdog we will be supporting. Who knows. But I'm sure we will see more of that country in further chapters as well.

• That's it for this chapter, I think. Until the next one!

[ourmanifestoisfun]

4x17 & 4x18 episode thoughts

IT’S OVER YOU GUYS!

That was one hell of a journey, and while I’m sad I won’t be able to write up week after week anymore, that still doesn’t mean there aren’t a lot of things left to say.

Dream ghosting! I was kind of hoping she went to the real Dr Akopian, but honestly dream ghosting works equally well for me. But falling asleep on the toilet, Rebecca? Really?

I love the red dress Rebecca wears, because that is the color associated with love and of course she will wear it on this important night.

Tim...spend Valentine’s Day with your wife. You learned about her clitoris, now learn to handle your 11-12-year relationship. Seriously.

Maya looks cute though. Love her Reveal

All of Paula’s heart decorations are marvelous. Especially digging the earrings.

The time fakeout was nicely played. I got spoiled for that going in, but I appreciated how they clarified when “earlier” actually was.

Josh’s panic about Rebecca’s decision made it sound like it was...not entirely about her, more that he had finally reached a new stage in his life and was ready to share it with someone compatible. I wish they had delved into that more.

George’s “Raven’s Nest” is terrifying

Yay for Darryl and his blended family with April. Also holy hell that is going to be a crowded household.

All of Rebecca’s flashforwards were very short, but I liked those different glimpses into different lives and how frustrated she was that the Rebeccas in them were not happy.

So much cuteness: Rebecca + Greg’s wedding dance, pregnant!Rebecca presenting a baby Ruth Gator Ginsburg to Nathaniel, and her+Josh’s family breakfast with their adorable kids

Having the episode be a little more stripped down and center on Rebecca and Paula felt very natural, because that is how the show started and it would be the way to make it come full circle. While their relationship is no longer nearly as codependent and have other aspects of their lives as priority, it is good to see them still come together and rely on each other for pivotal moments.

ESPECIALLY having Rebecca bring Paula into “that weird thing [she] does”. Seeing her run around and peer excitedly at the costumes, and being so excited about this rich imagination of her best friend is just so heartwarming.

What she needs “just happens to be here” and the handholding moments GAHHHHHH

Also ‘11 o’clock’ was PERFECT. Love how they took all of these seminal songs and brought them together with the mannequins and the outfits and everything gahhhhhhh

I’m so proud of Paula for sticking to her guns about the pro bono arm of the firm and being prepared to walk away in order to continue doing something that she felt was right. Paula now knows her worth as a lawyer - now she can figure out how to use her worth and apply it to her drive. And Julia was willing to listen, so it paid off!

Watching Josh get his heart broken was hard, because the poor boy did not see it coming.

It makes sense for him to move out, but I wish we knew what he was doing for a living now.

I like the tidbit that him and George hang out now.

Josh’s new magic club girlfriend looks super nice and cute. But meeting Rebecca must have been so awkward. Especially if she followed the saga in the Daily West Covina.

Also, I wished she had a name. Please, for fan-fictional reasons!

AJ moving in with Rebecca is fun, but also such a bad idea. I am relieved that he will never tell her whether he has a vibrator or not.

I love AJ in general. For introducing a new supporting character, they came out very strong with him and I’ve really enjoyed having him around.

I hope she does get him that Harvard t-shirt

Valencia and Beth are engaged! And it was both quiet (in bed) AND a little bit dramatic (the drone). Looking forward to that wedding.

Heather and Hector got a hot tub! 

...maybe Rebecca shouldn’t be using it at the same time as them.

I liked that Nathaniel recognized what was happening with Rebecca very quickly and I kinda hope he was joking about the rock (knowing him though, he wasn’t). Still, the “you only have one life to live and you should live it the way you want” was a sweet sentiment.

Nathaniel walking away from his father’s firm was exactly what I wanted for him. I’m not sure he should stay long term in Guatemala, but a change to reevaluate his life will be good for him.

Also that he did it with the support of two psuedo-father figures and yelled ‘’I love you’ at his dad before hanging up. I am very pleased by that because Sr would HATE it.

I’m glad that Greg made it clear that he wasn’t going to wait for Rebecca

I loved Rebecca’s tribute to him at the open mic night, that he is someone who has always been ahead, and that she wants to have the passion in her life that he has for Serrano’s.

Whijo’s grumping about it was hilarious.

I am sure that Whijo had great things happen in his life too in the past year, but ouch re: the wildfire burning both his apartment and his childhood home.

To the surprise of no one, Rebecca is not in a relationship at the time of the ending. But given how they played her breakups with the boys with gentleness, and the idea that she has a focus of her own now rather than needing to actively “choose herself”, really worked for me, because romance is still important and desirable part of life. It’s just not the only part of it, and when Rebecca says that she feels ready to welcome the other side of love into her life, I believe her.

The panning shot of all of the eligible guys made me laugh way too hard.

I did want to hear her song, but that is an excellent way to close things off.

For the concert special I don’t have this kind of list, but it was fun and sweet and a perfect send-off as well. My favorite gag is either between David Hull dancing in Vella’s song, or Michael MicMillan’s sexy toothbrushes. The Period Sex choreography was GREAT. Especially the incredibly obvious maxipads. They are all stupidly talented.

It’s also really cool that they were able to have so many of the supporting cast come join them for props/backup vocals/gags. That made it feel really warm and complete.

Also loved Vinnie popping out of the bed for the Sex Medley

In many ways, this episode resolution was simple and probably predictable for anyone who has thought about the show as deeply as the people here think about it. There was so much focus on the boys in the last few weeks that it was incredibly obvious that the solution would be that she would choose none of them, because to actually have the conflict for the final episode narrowed down to that choice would go against the very nature of the show. But the way it was handled really worked for me. Rebecca has a life and routine and friends, plus now she has a passion to nurture to its full potential. This first version will be rough, but it will be something.

I do have my criticisms, because while I love this show, there have been quite a few plot points/character beats that I feel were shorted/not touched upon: Josh’s story in particular feels incomplete to me, especially when it comes to having direction in his life. I wanted to see more of Heather+Valencia this season and especially have a stronger focus on Rebecca being a better friend to her gurlgroup, which was often glossed over. I wish things hadn’t gotten so frenetic, or the love quadrangle taken up so much time that could have been spent on moving the characters more gradually in certain directions. In general, I wanted to explore other background character relationship dynamics on a deeper level. There’s also the consistent question of when and how often the writers were knowingly subverting or playing into with tropes, which I suspect also contributed to how the back half of this season was devised.

But this story has always been Rebecca’s story, for better or worse, and that focus is part of what makes this ending feel satisfying, knowing that she is in a centered, happy place, that she is surrounded by people she loves, and the room might include the guy who will be her future mate or not, and she is about to give them words from her heart. This was an apt ending to a phase in her life where she wasn’t sure what she wanted, and I’m happy for her and for everyone, and in the end that is what I wanted from this show.

“I open at the close” - written by JK Rowling, tweeted by Rachel Bloom, and applicable to Rebecca Bunch’s story. She now knows the passion that makes her happy, so we can leave her to a future wide with possibilities.

[stahlop]

Once Upon a Time 1x17 “Hat Trick” Review

Reviews 1x01 1x02 1x03 1x04 1x05 1x06 1x07 1x08 1x09 1x10 1x11 1x12 1x13 1x14 1x15 1x16

Have I ever voiced my opinion on Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and how much I love it? And not only do I love it, but I love most alternative versions of it as well (The Looking Glass Wars book series, the Alice version the SyFy channel put out, not the awful Johnny Depp version), so this episode is definitely up my alley.  Especially because it introduced me to Sebastian Stan!! (And I’ve only seen the first Captain America and really know very little about the rest of the Marvel Universe). And fun fact, Jennifer Morrison and Sebastian Stan started dating sometime after this episode, but then broke up a year later. So on with the actual review.

Summary: While looking for an escaped Mary Margaret, Emma finds herself kidnapped in the home of an eccentric man who claims to believe in the curse. In the EF, the Evil Queen tasks a man with a special hat to help her retrieve something from Wonderland.

Opening: Large mushrooms

New Characters: 

Jefferson/Mad Hatter: I will refer to Jefferson as the Mad Hatter in the EF storyline just for clarification purposes, because otherwise it will get too confusing.

In Storybrooke, Jefferson is a broken man. Regina has made it so that he’ll want for nothing, just like she promised his daughter in the EF, but he doesn’t have his daughter to share it with. Jefferson has a unique curse put upon him. He knows he and the town are cursed but until Emma made time start moving, was only able to observe it from his house above the town. Now that time is moving and things are changing, Jefferson is determined to have Emma work her ‘magic’ and make him another portal hat so he can take his daughter, Grace, and go back home. Now, from what we gather in the EF storyline, it seems Jefferson was not always a good man, so it makes sense that he will do something sinister like kidnap both Emma and Mary Margaret to get what he wants. He’s also pretty desperate. And as we know, desperate souls will do anything to get what they want when there’s nothing to lose. Eventually, Emma and Mary Margaret get the jump on him, but he disappears before Emma can arrest him or take him to the hospital for the amount of times he gets hit and beaten up on.

We find out much more about the Mad Hatter (though not mad yet) in the EF. He is apparently widowed with a little girl, Grace, who is his whole world. They make money by foraging for mushrooms and selling them at the market. We see that the Mad Hatter loves his daughter more than anything and would do anything to make it an easier life for her. From the conversation he has with the Evil Queen, he lost Grace’s mother due to what he used to do with the hat. He doesn’t want Grace to lose her father as well. He tells the Evil Queen that there is nothing more important than family. Unfortunately, he loses his resolve pretty quickly after Grace wants to buy a stuffed bunny at the market and the Mad Hatter can’t afford it. Grace says it’s fine because she just wants her father, but he can’t see that, he just sees what he can’t give her. So, even though Grace begs him not to (listen to your kid Mad Hatter), he sends her to the neighbors so he can work with the Evil Queen. He pulls out a large hat box. At the Evil Queen’s castle, the Mad Hatter brings out the hat and spins it, it creates a portal which he and the Evil Queen jump into together. They go to a doorway that looks like a looking glass. The Mad Hatter remind the Evil Queen of the rules that they both have to enter together and leave together. Same number in as out. He hates Wonderland. For what it’s worth, with the Evil Queen there, she and the Mad Hatter get through to the center of the maze pretty quickly, but of course are caught by the Queen of Heart’s guards right after Regina retrieves the box she is there for.  They manage to out maneuver and out magic the guards and head back to the door. Unfortunately, the Evil Queen’s father was in the box, and she makes him big again with a piece of mushroom. This means the Mad Hatter can’t go back though because there are now too many people. He is devastated when the Evil Queen and Henry, Sr. leave him behind. So devastated he doesn’t even try to run away when the guards come to capture him. He just lets them drag him to the Queen of Hearts. It’s a very creepy court with most people wearing masks and the Queen of Hearts wearing a veil over her face. She wants to know how the Mad Hatter got to Wonderland, he just wants to go back home to his daughter. She orders ‘Off with his head!’. Except in Wonderland, you don’t die when your head is cut off.  Freaky! The Queen’s right-hand man says if he wants to go home he needs to make another hat. And that’s how he becomes the Mad Hatter.

Character Observations:

Evil Queen/Regina: Well the Evil Queen certainly lives up to her name in this episode. She purposefully brings the Mad Hatter to Wonderland knowing full well if she gets what she came for that he won’t be able to come back because of the rules of the hat. And she manipulates him terribly to get what she wants. The Mad Hatter does not want to work for the Evil Queen again, but she puts doubt in his mind about Grace’s happiness. She disguises herself as a toy seller and deliberately won’t sell the Mad Hatter a stuffed bunny Grace wants, which makes him feel like he can’t provide for her well, regardless of Grace saying all that matters is him. But, at the same time, the Evil Queen is trying to get her family back, so we see her confliction when the Mad Hatter is begging her not to leave him there to get back to his Grace. She throws back his earlier statement that you don’t abandon family and also says if he really cared for Grace he never would have left her. I think someone is doth protesting a little too much.

Only a little bit with Regina this time. She is in cahoots with Gold and wanted Mary Margaret to escape. For what reason, we don’t know. She looked so happy when she didn’t see Emma’s car at the sheriff’s station and then absolutely shocked when Mary Margaret is just casually reading the newspaper in her cell.

Emma: She is desperate to find Mary Margaret before anyone finds out she is missing. Regardless of whether Mary Margaret is guilty or not she will be a fugitive of the law. Gold reminds her that Mary Margaret needs to be back in her cell by her arraignment the next morning, so Emma is now working on a timeline. When Gold calls her out for putting her job in jeopardy, Emma says she’d rather lose her job than with her friend. She is so distracted out in the woods searching for Mary Margaret that she accidentally makes Jefferson dive off the road so she doesn’t hit him. Of course she lies to him about why she’s out in the woods, but drives him home because now he’s limping. Emma seems quite impressed by his mansion and comments that he must have a large family, but he tells her it’s just him. Emma looks sad when he says it’s just him. Maybe that’s why she helps him inside and takes the tea he offers. Don’t take food from strangers, Emma! Because, of course, Emma gets drugged. She’s lucky, that Jefferson is shit with picking up after himself, because that drugged teacup is still on the carpet. So Emma uses her ex-con skills, breaks the teacup and uses a jagged piece to break her ties. That must have been some pretty flimsy duct tape there. She attempts to see if she can get out a window, but they don’t open. She finds Jefferson’s telescope and sees that it is pointed directly at the sheriff’s station, so he knew she was coming to the woods. She hears a noise and finds Jefferson sharpening a very large pair of scissors. Emma attempts to sneak out of the house, but hits a squeaky floor panel, and of course the room she decides to hide in holds an also kidnapped Mary Margaret. Seriously, with the amount of rooms this house has, what are the odds she ends up in the one that Mary Margaret is in? So this is the point where Mary Margaret decides to tell Emma about the key in her cell and while they’re distracted trying to figure out who put it there, Emma only looks one way out the door of the room, completely missing the fact that Jefferson is in the opposite hallway with a gun. Emma claims to have called backup (who the hell else works at the sheriff’s station?) but Jefferson knows she’s lying and makes her tie Mary Margaret back up. Emma threatens Jefferson if he hurts Mary Margaret and he says he was just protecting her from trying to cross the town line because of the curse. Emma is, understandably, confused and asks if he’s been reading Henry’s book. Now Jefferson is confused.  He thinks Emma is talking about the Evil Queen’s father, but she informs him that she’s talking about the mayor’s son. Jefferson is pissed off at Emma for ignoring the stories. He tells her she brought magic to Storybrooke and he wants her to get his hat to work again. Emma realizes he thinks he’s the Mad Hatter and they go into a debate about what kind of stories are real (they talk about the Civil War which is funny now because later on Sebastian Stan will be in Captain America: Civil War). He also says that people always want a magical solution to their problems but refuse to believe in magic. Jefferson tells Emma she’s arrogant to think that our world is the only world to exist and tells her about the infinite worlds that are out there. Emma is frustrated trying to make a hat for Jefferson. She wants to know what’s so cursed about his life. He explains about Grace/Paige. Emma thinks he should reach out to her but he doesn’t want her to hold the same burden he does. Emma tells him she knows what it’s like to feel like you’re losing your mind, but he’s not having it, he’s not crazy. Emma almost seems like she’s starting to believe him and mentions that if she believes then Mary Margaret is her mother. She says she’ll try to get the hat to work, but it’s just a distraction. Emma grabs the telescope and whacks Jefferson over the head and then goes to rescue Mary Margaret. Of course Jefferson isn’t down for the count yet. They fight and Mary Margaret shoves him out the window, where he promptly disappears. Emma gives Mary Margaret the keys to her bug to give her the choice whether to leave or not. She tells her she’s family and she can’t lose her (then she backtracks and calls her her friend instead). Emma goes to visit Henry and meets Paige. She asks Henry if she can look at the book and looks up the Mad Hatter’s story. She wants to keep the book for a little bit. Maybe this is her way of believing a little bit.

Mar Margaret: So she has escaped from her jail cell using the key that someone left for her. How does she think this is a good idea. Mary Margaret is a lot of things, but stupid isn’t one of them. Yes, she uses bad judgement sometimes (David), but all in all, the way Mary Margaret is under the curse, she would not take matters into her own hands. So she’s running around in the woods trying to escape.  She is apparently attacked by Jefferson and brought to his house where Emma finds her tied up. And, because they decide to talk about why Mary Margaret ran instead of paying attention while trying to escape, they are caught by Jefferson and Mary Margaret gets tied back up. Eventually, Emma escapes again and partially rescues Mary Margaret before Jefferson comes back to attack them again. Mary Margaret’s quick thinking has her hit Jefferson with a croquet mallet before using some cool ninja move to kick him out the window (prompting Emma to ask if she’s been taking kickboxing). Emma gives Mary Margaret the option to keep running, but she eventually decides to go face the music when Emma calls her family. Somehow, she ends up back in her cell before Regina gets to the sheriff’s station acting as though she’d been there all night.

Gold: He and Regina made some sort of deal that made him put the key in Mary Margaret’s bed. He seems to have a great distaste for Regina, and only made this deal to get something from her. We don’t know what the deal is or what anyone gets from it.

Questions:

Emma claims she called for back up to Jefferson. Where is there back up? Isn’t Emma the only person who works in the sheriff’s office?

Why is Emma only wearing a tank top and leather jacket? Mary Margaret is in a button up shirt, sweater and peacoat. It’s cold out there as it’s either still winter or closing in on spring (based on the Valentine’s Day episode). It’s not warm enough for tank tops, Emma.

If Jefferson has a clear shot of the sheriff's station from his house with the telescope, how has Emma never noticed the mansion before? It would have to be clear enough that no trees were in the way covering it for Jefferson to have two telescopes set up on two different places in town.

How did Jefferson get caught up in the curse if he was in Wonderland? Did the Evil Queen manage to get him out right before the curse hit?

This is another storyline that leaves a lot up to chance. Even if Jefferson seized and opportunity, how did he know Mary Margaret would come anywhere near his part of the woods? How did he know Emma would come searching there as well? Is there only one drivable road in the woods for Jefferson to have been waiting on? How did he know Emma would offer him a ride? How did Jefferson know she would come inside the house or drink the tea? How long would he have kept Emma and Mary Margaret to try and make the hat work?

Where did Jefferson go? Did the hat work or did he just manage to run off really fast before Emma and Mary Margaret could look out the window?

How did Mary Margaret make it back to the jail so fast? She didn’t even look out of breath when Regina arrived.

Observations:

At least one of the other doors in the hat goes to Oz.

The door to Wonderland has rules. Only the same amount of people who enter can leave. No more, no less.

The Evil Queen says she has a history with the Queen of Hearts.

The wall of boxes that the Evil Queen retrieves her father from looks very much like Regina’s wall of hearts in her crypt in Storybrooke.

Paige’s family in Storybrooke are the neighbors the Mad Hatter sent Grace to when he went off to Wonderland.

I’m thinking the reason the Queen of Hearts wears a veil is either because they haven’t cast the person in the role permanently yet, or they don’t want the audience to know who she is yet.

Jefferson has a scar around his neck from where his head was caught off in Wonderland.

Mary Margaret uses a croquet mallet to hit Jefferson. Croquet is the game the Queen of Hearts likes to play in the original Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Although she uses flamingos for mallets.

There is a distinct sucking sound about the time Jefferson should land on the ground after Mary Margaret kicks him out the window.

The Storybrooke Daily Mirror headline reads: Heartless! School teacher jailed for murder charge.

Names:

Both Jefferson and Grace are named from the band Jefferson Airplane (later Starship) whose lead singer was named Grace Slick. They had a hit song called White Rabbit which references the mushrooms from Wonderland that make you grow bigger and smaller.

I liked this episode, even though we were introduced to a new character so late in the season. Hopefully, we’ll see more of Jefferson because he was kind of cool when he wasn’t drugging Emma or trying to shoot her.  Maybe he’ll have more chill once the curse is broken and he and Grace are reunited. I do wonder what Regina’s end game is with this whole Kathryn thing. Why give Mary Margaret a chance to escape when she obviously wants her locked away for a long time. Was it because she knows Mary Margaret can’t actually leave town? Emma seems to be having a bit more faith after everything, so hopefully she will start to believe soon.

Please leave comments and reblog!

@searchingwardrobes @thisonesatellite @justbecauseyoubelievesomething @laschatzi @profdanglaisstuff @mariakov81

[couldbeyourlife]

that’s a party platter it serves 12 people

avengers done been assembled spoilers below the cut ramble ramble garble garble hyperbole and capslock 

Caveats(?) as it were? My reactions are my own and not a judgment of anyone else’s feelings, thoughts, or reactions. There are like, many paths to the rainbow, dude. It ain’t that deep here for the most part. In this movie especially, there were a lot of moments where my feelings can be summed up with:

Also, Steve and Natasha are my babies my faves I love them most and best. 

Overall, liked MUCH MUCH better than IW. IW focused way the hell too much on people IDGAF about. This one was about the OGs and people I care about so I am here. for. that. 

Has me thinking reallllllly how much of all of this is about getting that Moment On Screen. The “avengers assemble” or steve with the hammer or w/e. Things as “fans” we all have these images of in our imaginations or have seen on page and grown to see as iconic. And really, so very much of all of the Avengers movies mostly seem to be plots strung along to get to those moments? Which, I mean is it what it is. That’s what comic book team up Event Books are about. We’re getting an 18 months crossover event stuffed into a couple of hours BASICALLY. This movie, even more than the others, felt most like a comic book. 

I yelled “fuck you” at least twice at the screen to Tony in the first 20 minutes. The entire thing between him and Steve after Tony gets back was so very not a good look. 

I mean Tony was worse and then better and god as a character he is just so much better in HIS OWN MOVIES. JESUS GOD. Let me stop at IM3 and sing Adele at that. I mean, he’s dead now which works for his arc within the avengers movies. I’m glad he got to form a baby? Ugh. I still find the Iron Man --> Spidey thing odd in the MCU since Spidey is the og really here, y’all. IDK MAN. 

“HEY QUEENS” MY HEART IT HURTS.

All of Steve and Natasha’s interactions made me clap with JOY. It made me want so much MORE of team Cap’s initial time on the run and then afterward with the two of them. UGH. The fact that Natasha is what Steve is crying about in that crying scene from the trailer? JUST LEAVE ME IN THE ROAD TO DIE OKAY.

Which gets to, I am super very glad I both waited and was spoiled. There were a lot of things I would have been less down with if it had been a LE TWIST! if I didn’t know. Such as the failed mission to kill thanos. Also, if Natasha’s death had been unspoiled for me I probably would have gotten the fuck up and walked out the theater yelling OH FUCK ALL Y’ALL.

SAME BUT DIFFERENT FOR LEBOWSKI THOR. EVEN KNOWING IT WAS COMING I WAS STILL BASICALLY THE THIRSTIEST FUCKING BITCH IN THE UNIVERSE WHEN HE WAS REVEALED AND EVERY FUCKING MOMENT AFTER THAT ESPECIALLY WHEN HE SUITED THE FUCK UP. Had I not been prepared I probably would have thrown my bra at the screen. I mean y’all my fucking husband for life is jack black i gots a type. my eyes are just rolling back in my head w/e w/e w/e I’ll get to Thor more later I just gotta thirst all over this god damn page because UGHa;ldafdaadf9df;/ ; I KNOW WHAT I’M ABOUT, SON.

if you aren’t here for wanting ten million pages of lebowski thor and bearded cap fucking then idek 

Speaking of the porn. The following are things I want: Five year gap Steve/Natasha, Natasha/Carol, STEVE/NATASHA/CAROL, Thor/Valkyrie, Carol/Valkyrie, Carol/Thor/Valkyrie (GOD BLESS YOU, TESSA AND BRIE)

CAROL DANVER’S SHEER DEEP POWERFUL LESBIAN POWER AND ENERGY MADE ME SWOON EVERY TIME SHE WAS ON SCREEN. I loved her interactions with everyone of course. Her eye roll at Rhodey at the start was grate. Enjoyed what interactions we had of her and Steve A LOT. I clapped when he radioed to Danvers during the big scene. 

SCOTT LANG BEST AVENGER OR MOST BEST AVENGER Y/MFY/CAP’S ASS IS THE BEST ASS SIR ROGERS CAPTAIN SIR???!!! 

Really, Scott is and was the best and I just loved him so much. Definately one of the characters that can keep me engaged with the MCU going forward (see also: Carol and T’Challa)

I have so many frustrated and angry feelings about Natasha’s death. I get what people are saying about her and full circle etc. But I think that’s all bullshit really. It is a narrative choice to make that her arc? Like, her entire thing was she had things to make up and redeem herself for. Tony’s entire thing was that he was a selfish dick that learned to be unselfish. Natasha didn’t have a self-sacrifice problem. SHE WAS RAISED TO BE A GOD DAMN WEAPON. SHE’S A SURVIVOR because that’s what a weapon does and there is a huge difference in that.  I get they needed to rid themselves of several of the OG Avengers so Dead Tony, Time Jump Steve, and Natasha being dead? I just. I’m too tired to get into hardcore, but I am mad. I will be mad and I will stay mad. Like, I get why they did it, but the writers MADE THAT CHOICE and so I am perma fucking pressed about it. 

I honestly dgaf about the GotG and anything related to them and any moment with any of those characters, other than the Rabbit and Thor together, was basically dead airspace. I just DON’T FUCKING CARE. So every minute with them was wasted except for Thor. Oh THOR. Honestly, talk about a dude that started at the bottom for me and now we at the top. (THAT’S WHAT YOU FUCKING GET, TONY STARK FOR BEINGdl;af). Ahem. I feel like Thor’s arc made sense to me? Like he gets to go be the sort of person he’s always wanted to be who he is inside which is PROBABLY a well meaning and heroic semi-frat boy who wants to play with his Rabbit friend and have adventures and drink beer? His entire thing has been about how much he was or wasn’t able to be a good person v. a good king etc and idk IT WORKED FOR ME and he had one of the better OG endings imo. Also, like THOR HAS SEEN SOME SHIT? SOME REAL ASS SHIT THAT HE GETS TO HAVE SOME FUCKING FEELINGS ABOUT? AND REAL ASS SHIT THAT HIS LIFE UP UNTIL SHIT GOT REAL DID NOT PREPARE HIM FOR AT ALL?  Like, I made a C on a paper in grad school and drank an entire bottle of champagne and fell off a chair. I GET IT. (I get a lot of this in the meta context comes from Hemsworth being fucking miserable with what they were doing with Thor because it SUCKED and people realizing that he’s fucking HILARIOUS and rolling with that). Also, a lot of the upset people seem to be really attached to Loki and liek w/e, but who hurt you? 

Speaking of OGs. The entire Bruce/Hulk thing was weird. I get they were real into what they could do special effects wise but... idk man. I wasn’t here for it?

No one cares about Hawkeye. I mean I know there are people that say that but like. Him?

ON YOUR LEFT, CAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IF YOU DON’T LOVE SAM WILSON AND SHIP HIM AND STEVE IDK WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND WHAT YOUR PRIORITIES ARE? 

SAM WILSON CAPTAIN AMERICA IS ALL I HAVE WANTED AND NEEDED OTHER THAN THE OTHER THINGS I HAVE ALSO WANTED AND NEEDED.

Which gets us to the last two and biggest two things: Steve and MCU’s entire time travel theory? They even SAY the BttF time travel theory and hint at the multiverse/DC theory of time travel. They seem to be hitting to something closer to the Umbrella Academy where what is going to happen is going to happen except?????????? HOW IT DOESN’T but it also can split into other realities but only because of the stones or? (This is also where the entire event book crossover Big Bad is always annoying because a) everything bad ends up being about that and b) there is way the hell too much bg mythology to care about. Hydra - Nazis MAKES SENSE! Evil Grimace abuses his daughters for fun and profit and wants to make the universe great again but thinks LotR didn’t go far enough with the jewelry thing???) AHEM. I mean, I got to a point where I was like, “this is the most 2019 movie because evil is inevitable because Hope is a Lie and Evil Always wins UNLESS YOU CAN BEND TIME TO YOUR WILL except nope not even that HA HA”  So, I can’t really lockdown the internal logic completely on the MCU theory of time travel. It is sort of making sense until we get to Steve’s ending? 

SO. 

I have no dislike of this. It is cute. It is fine. It is what Steve deserved. Hell, it is what Peggy deserved. There are other ways it could have went and I would have been down with that too? I’ve been prepared for Steve to die for like 4 years now so you know, this is fine. It removes Cap from the action equation so CEvans like ScarJo and RDJ can be free. I think, if you’re inclined that way there are a ton of character questions you can ask there? Things to pick at and find interesting. I enjoyed Steve’s entire thing this movie immensely (his interactions with 2012 self were great. Him using Bucky against himself I thought was amazing). But here is where I start questioning the time logic which can be summarized with:

WHAT ABOUT POPSICLE STEVE?

Is there a Steve floating out in the ocean still to be found in 2011? There would need to be a Cap from 2011-2019 to put other people in place. You don’t have Sam and Bucky (for example) where they are at UNLESS THERE IS CAP AT THAT POINT??????? Which makes sense because there has to be a Steve to go back to Peggy (AWWW MY HEART IT HURTS), SO does it reform the mobius strip of the timeline to where Steve was ALWAYS in the past with Peggy (but on the downlow???????? WAS HE JUST TOTES NOT STEVE CARTER HUSBAND OF PEGGY CARTER and IDK taught P.E. in Brooklyn???) and so it basically reforms itself to where what was happened always happened but it MEANS that popsicle Steve and Steve from the future that is now in the past exist at the same time and THEN STEVE HAS TO NOT MAKE OUT IN HIS UNDERWEAR WITH HIS OWN MOM????? Or? Like, Hulk even says that when you mess with time, time messes back what are the consequences? Are there? At some point wouldn’t THAT cause some sort of weird paradox? I realize I’m asking SRS questions about fictional time travel so really who is the broken weirdo here me or Marvel (MARVEL OBVIOUSLY?). I’ve read a lot of theories on this and explanations, but none of which really satisfy me. 

and REALLY isn’t that the most comic book thing of it all? The points don’t count and the rules don’t matter. I mean that in the best way possible, really. Fine, it was a yellow bug in Hal Jordan’s brain all along. Oh okay, Barry Allen’s grandson from the future? SURE WHATEVER. I eagerly look forward to ten years from now some fucking fetus getting cast as a new Captain America and being able to yell at whippersnappers how the only REAL CAPTAIN AMERICA IS CHRIS EVANS I HAVE BEEN THIRSTING CORRECTLY SINCE 2009 YOU PUNK ASS LITTLE BITCHES.